®ebranding the Premier League

Last week, The Offside were contacted by a body representing the Premier League informing them that unless they removed the team crests from their site, they would "disappear" in the middle of the night, or some such.

Now, some may see this threat as a bad thing. They may point out that clamping down on an operation which is essentially giving them free publicity is more than a tad heavy-handed and risks alienating the very fans on whose custom the league depends. Others would argue that an organisation that charges for the reproduction of their fixture list has things a bit out of perspective.

But, in fairness, perhaps the league has a point. It's time they were given the right to reply. And seen as they are far too honourable to engage in mature, reasoned discussion, I have taken the liberty of presenting their case. As I'm already on a rebranding kick, I have created some new crests which present compelling arguments for why you should Do As You're Told™.

So, bearing in mind that--

* I used the exceedingly crude Microsoft Paint;

* I have the artistic flair of a raw ham;

* I didn't do crests for all Premier League clubs (I'm a genius, not a machine);

* When it came to Manchester United, I couldn't compete with this:


* Yes, smartarse long-time reader: I know that the Chelsea crest is based on an idea previously expressed on these pages (fear not: I have instigated legal proceedings against myself);

* The Blackburn and West Ham badges are pretty much gratuitous Neill- and Big-Sam-bashing, but think of it like this -- you're paying their wages;

--enjoy. Tell my family I love them.

UPDATE: Man City crest amended: key underlining added as aid to proper emphasis.

UPDATE THE SECOND: I forgot to mention that the inspiration for this post was a comment by Run of Play reader cjp, so a big and belated thank you is due.