Let's set fire to tears

It's a new month, so here's a new Norman Einstein's, now in its second glorious year. As befitting this, the most June 2010 of all months, one of your favourite members of the O'Rrarci family has elected to share with you the innermost mysteries of the penalty shootout. You will learn about the essential nature of the penalty, how qualifying for the World Cup is like joining a gym, how defensive football is like a backside (not necessarily in a bad way), why the shootout will save your soul, and much else besides.

There is, of course, plenty of other terrificness in the issue, footballistic and otherwise, so do have a look, and subscribe if you haven't done already. You know I'm right.

And now, because you're lovely, and because I unwittingly mangled one of his images in my aforelinked piece (a prize of indeterminate and, most likely, imaginary nature to the first person who can guess correctly!), here is Stephen Fry reading the Shipping Forecast: