The Occasional Biscuit: The almost illegal Elton Welsby

I hadn't planned on so quickly posting a second installment of The Occasional Biscuit, our series of vaguely sportological Half Man Half Biscuit songs. But then came the stunning revelation from the producer of Football Weekly that — no foolin' — he once saw Elton Welsby naked. And like any good HMHB fan, I immediately thought of the one image more disturbing than that, as presented by the band in the song "A Country Practice" from their 1998 album Four Lads Who Shook the Wirral.

Added bonuses: a passing tennis reference and an "Abide with Me" quote. And EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT THE SONG. Ahem.