A Party Political Broadcast on behalf of the Sport Is A TV Show Party

Now, this is a democratic process. Just because I'm providing you with a hot meal, driving you to the polling station, walking you to the booth and telling you which lever corresponds to which candidate, that doesn't mean that you can't vote for whoever you want. Don't let me influence you at all. Just let your conscience guide...NO! NOT THAT ONE! GOOD GOD! ARE YOU SENILE OR SOMETHING? I HOPE THERE'S A BUS PASSING BY HERE SOON BECAUSE MY CAR DOESN'T HAVE ROOM FOR UNGRATEFUL IDIOTS! Now, try again...

By which I mean to say, voting is open on the Soccerlens Writing Competition, and your correspondent's entry modestly proposing a solution to the endless club versus country conflict has been shortlisted, along with two other fine pieces. And all it cost was the price of some incriminating photographs of the judges. So by all means venture over and lavish praise on the other candidates. They have done some great work and will continue to do great work in the future. They are true heroes. But when it comes to voting, just remember - I know about your unpaid parking fines...