Wouldn't it be fun if they gave the ref a gun?
Here's a song to send you into another weekend of bitching about referees. As the hapless officials seemingly don't have the right to reply, this is Half Man Half Biscuit from their 2002 album Cammell Laird Social Club telling it from the perspective of the maligned men in black/green/yellow etc.
Ladies and gentlemen - 'The Referee's Alphabet':
"I usually choose the word 'pleat'".
Classic.
But they all hate the club I happen to support! All of them!
I think the gun would be particularly useful for players who are only marginally injured and eat up minutes on the clock with onfield treatment. My idea of the beautiful game is based on a strict interpretation of the rules and decries excessively physical football (employed mostly by teams and players who don't have enough skill). However, I do think that the so-called "injury" really slows down football. I'd like to see no stoppages for injuries. If a player is marginally injured - he walks off the pitch. If he is seriously injured - have stretcher bearers come onto the pitch during the run of play and remove the player. As for the gun - well - let me see - that could be employed when option one doesn't work and the referee quickly wants to get the player to option two. Is the idea of a gun anti-thetical to the beautiful game? Well - it does represent using violence to solve problems. However - it would in the case of my proposal - keep the play flowing. And flowing football is what beautifulgamers crave...
Well, exactly, beautifulgamer. It just goes to confirm the belief I hold the strongest in this world: Half Man Half Biscuit are right about everything.
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