World's worst...canvasser
Um, yes, hello, lovely day, isn't it? With the sun and some clouds and the birds with their, uh, birdsong and all that kind of thing. Oh, yes, my name is Fredorrarci and I represent Sport Is A TV Show, and I'm here—
...No, no — Sport Is A TV Show. It's a blog, you see, and I—
...Uh, no, you won't have seen anyone else from Sport Is A TV Show around because, um, I am, in fact, so to speak, its only representative, you see, haha. Um, what it is, you see, the reason I—
...Well, you've heard of it now, haha, um. Now, as I'm sure you're aware, voting is, in fact, open in the EPL Talk Awards, and I hope, as it were, to convince you to vote for Sport Is A TV Show in the category of best EPL blog. Here is, uh, a list of the blogs nominated—
...Yes, it is a fine list, I, uh, haha, can't disagree with you, uh, there—
...No, no, haha, I assure you, I'm not the joke candidate—
...No, I don't even own a multi-coloured wig or any such, um, things, such as that kind of thing, um. No, I'm quite serious about my candidacy—
...Yes, I have written on some of the other blogs on the shortlist, that is true. I, uh, suppose that a vote for them could be looked upon as a, uh, vote for me in a strange kind of way, I guess, haha—
...No no no, what I mean to say, um, hahaha, is that you should still vote Sport Is A TV Show, because, um, I firmly believe in the, uh, firmness of our, um, uh, beliefs, that is to say, my beliefs, to be accurate, and truth and accuracy are so important and so, in, uh, lack, that is, I mean, so lacking, and I truly feel that a vote for Sport Is A TV Show is a vote for, ahem, what is, that is to say—
...Well, no, I suppose you could vote for those blogs, or even, I think, that is, going forward, um, any of the blogs on the list, I mean, yes, there are a lot of very good blogs on the ballot, and I mean, you should, I think, follow your heart, and indeed, your head, that is, you should feel free to exercise your democratic right, indeed, some would say duty, to, um, as I say, going forward, uh, oh dear, we hope, that is, I hope, no, we sounds much better, oh crap, am I saying this out loud?, um, our policies will prove—
...You think I'm bearing up well considering the ritual humiliation I will surely receive when the results are announced? I, um, haha, thank you, I think!, haha, well I hope my message came across and that you'll, uh, vote for me, or vote maybe for someone else, or, you know, whatever you elect to do, so to speak, hahaha, just my, uh, little joke, uh, there, ahem, and that, you know, you at least get out there and vote, I mean, it is so impor—
(Door slams shut.)
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