Ali MacGraw will lose to France on penalties in the semi-final

Like everyone outside Italy, France and Germany, I've been thrilled by Holland's two displays so far, which have provided more beautiful, life-affirming moments than we could decently have expected in two hour-and-a-half chunks of our lives.

We've all seen this movie before. They get together, they bicker a little, they realise they love each other deeply. We realise what a beautiful partnership this is and hope with all our hearts that we can see it blossom. A third of the way through, everything is perfect. What could possibly go wrong?