Wow wow wow wow! What a day of footie news! WHAT! A!! DAY!!!
Let's start with the big story — Steven Gerrard might retire in four years time! Maybe! Or he might retire in, say, three years! Or maybe five, or six, or seven, or maybe even eleventy hundred! Who knows?! Not him, not anyone! THIS BLOWS MY MIND!!!
I don't want to BLOW YOUR MIND TOO, so put a hat on it or clamp it in a vice or something before you read this next bit, because I don't want you suing me! My man Stevie G has REVEALED that he nearly quit Liverpool to join Chelsea in 2005, but decided not to! I DID NOT KNOW THIS!!! I don't think ANYONE could have known this, because I can't remember anyone talking about it!
Just when I thought my day couldn't get any more FREAKY and BRILLIANT, I got a sneak preview of next season's Premier League fixture list, which will be officially published tomorrow!
I found out that EVERY TEAM WILL PLAY EVERY OTHER TEAM!
No, I'm not aleufx g going crazy — I'm just ajaisfuk banging my head against hbsduv the keyboard because I awifuydhlif LOVE sfgsifyhs THE sguduf SUMMER fuhgfu SO esouisye MUCH!!!!!!!!! suyihsgseilkffsi